


Consequences

by R00w



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Long heartfelt talk, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Sad, new relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25863007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R00w/pseuds/R00w
Summary: Just a heartbreaking story for Steve, because he has to face the consequences of his actions.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't betaed. I'm a stubborn btch, I should get one but I'm too anxious to ask someone to read my drafts and see my mistakes (hahaha, halpme).

It was really simple, Steve had to apologize to Tony, just a sincere ‘Im sorry’. It was all it had to be, all that it needed to be and then they could start mending this thing they have had between them since the Chitauri invasion. It all seemed so long ago. The complicity and silent understanding, the easy talks and friendly banter, the almost kisses and couch cuddles. The sleepless nights shared with hot chocolate and coffee (one sugar, no milk). Steve missed all of it. He missed Tony.

He had finally gathered the courage to talk to T'chala, asking for his help to get in contact with Tony.

-You are aware that you will have to sign the Accords Mr. Rogers?- the king had asked as they walked through a concurred corridor, he led Steve into one of the conference rooms they had in the palace.

Steve grimaced, but nodded, he had read the first draft, finally understanding why Tony had done what he did. They had always had this difference of opinions about how to lead but he now knew better than to just lash out and blame it all on the billionaire. Steve figured that with the Amends the New Avengers were drafting they will finally have a more reasonable scheme, less government control. Because in the end, Tony had been right in saying that they needed some sort of control. Someone to held them accountable for their mistakes. He felt his stomach drop, just like that first time he realized that they had left everything to IronMan, the fallout of Siberia, Lagos, and that damn bunker... Bucky still couldn't look him in the eye. "We just left him there Steve... alone..".

He took a long breath, steadying his heart. He had to do what was right. He had to talk to Tony. Apologize and beg, if it came to that. He wonders where it all went to hell.

-Then I'll let you to it. Tony said we could call around 5, that is exactly in a minute.- he said, briefly looking down at his watch. -Everything is already set up, you just need to give the signal and the call will start. -he paused, doubtful, but then he added - I do hope that you realize this is a one-time thing, Steve? -

He sat in front of the hologram that functioned as a TV, he knew perfectly how this was his one shot with Tony - I know, thank you so much for setting this up for me-.

T'challa only nodded at him and started to walk towards the door -Good luck Steve - he said before closing the it behind him.

He motioned with his hand to the hologram to start and a screen appeared in front of him, three dots appearing in the black screen as the dialing tone started ringing in the speakers in front of him.

He waited, holding his breath as the seconds passed. He felt his determination falter as the seconds ticked by and there was no answer. He took out a flip phone from his pocket and placed it on the table before him, the twin to the one he left behind at the compound with that stupid letter. He regretted it. It was so impersonal and detached. Nothing like the warm feelings that Tony gave him, even now after everything. After all their mistakes and regrets.

He waited. And waited. And waited. Nervously, he looked at the clock displayed on the hologram, a couple of minutes had passed. He could wait. He would wait. Hours, days, weeks if needed.

Suddenly, the black screen flicked alive, a video feed finally appearing of glass doors, scattered metal suit parts, wires and blinking led lights, what seemed to be a red and blue fabric on one of the metal tables and heavy music coming from the speakers too. Tonys lab. His heart fluttered, he could see Dum-E in the back, holding what looked like a mug, Butterfingers following him until they disappeared from the screen. He smiled, the familiarity of the ambiance and the loud music making him yearn to be back. To finally close the gap. To confess his feelings.

Then Tony appeared, all movement and muscles and alive. He looked up, finally realizing that the call had connected and with a flick of his wrist the music dropped to almost silence. He was whipping his hand on an old rag, the light from his chest and odd triangle instead of the circled blue light that used to lull him to sleep. With a leg, he pulled from under the table a stoll and sat on it, right in front of the camera. He was wearing a light tank top and dirty gray pants. The chocolate warm eyes that were looking back at him were also different. Wary. Cautious. Steve's heart broke as he realized that not all things were the same.

-Hello Tony- he waved his hand.

-Steve- barely a whisper.

-I miss you- he said because it was true. Because he was tired of pretending that he didn't in front of the team. He was tired of the looks Natasha gave him, of the worried glances Clint would direct at him whenever Tony was mentioned. He was tired of Wanda and her detached words, of Sam and Scotts' looks of understanding. They didn't. Nobody understood. Nobody but Tony.

And Tony flinched, a barely-there movement that caught his eyes.

\- I'm sorry, Tony I'm so sorry. I was wrong- he said. Coming clean for the first time. - I should have told you about Bucky. About your parents. I'm so sorry I didn't. It was stupid of me to - .

-Yeah, it was pretty stupid Steve - Tony interrupted, his jaw set and a determined look in his eyes - Yes, you should have told me. Even then, in front of that fucking screen, you could have stopped everything to tell me. I trusted you, Steve, I even - he stopped, the confession at the tip of his tongue, the words never spoken out loud now heavier than ever between them. - I could have helped, even way back, when you and Tash had all that mess with SHIELD, Icould have helped with the fallout. I could have done something. I could have done more. I always did everything for the team. For you Steve. - he broke down. His voice cracking and he looked down, hiding his face from the camera, trying to compose himself.

And Steve jumped in his seat as he felt something wet on his hand, startled he raised his hand to his cheek, noticing that he had started crying. - Tony, I'm sorry - .

\- You already said that - furious chocolate eyes looking directly at him, tears streaming down his face too. He looked ready to fight and then he looked aside, that fire leaving his body just as fast as it had come - and I'm sorry too. I was... - he trailed off.

-No, don't apologize. Not to me. You deserved better, something more than a stupid letter and an old phone. - Steve said with conviction, his hands half raised to the screen. He wanted to hold Tony, to hug him, and wipe those tears away. - I know it's not enough, but Tony, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and stop myself. I wish I had reached to you sooner. I wanted you so much, Tony I still do. - he finally confessed. He was earnest, his blue eyes so open and sincere that Tony, across the damn world, had to look away again, unable to face all of the blonde's emotions. - I, I love you, Tony. I have loved you for so long. These months have been awful. What I did to you, and what I didn't. - he paused between hiccups - It wasn't worth it. - and he slowed down. Waiting for the other man to look up at him again.

\- Steve, please stop - he implored, Steve hated seeing him so sad, so broken. All because of their actions. Of his inaction too. - What about Barnes? - he asked after. An accusatory tint to his words.

Steve looked down at his hands, what about Bucky? He had asked himself that a lot during this time.

Tony huffed, the angry expression back on his handsome features - How can you say that you love me then Steve? How, when it is clear that you have already chosen another? When you have already moved on?! - he was screaming now.

\- No Tony! NO, It's not like that!! It was never like that!! Bucky and I, we are not like that. He was the only thing I had left from my past. He was the only one I had in this time. -

-You had me - the accusation, along with the past tense made Steve look up at Tony again. His blurry vision made him blink so he could focus on the brunette on the screen. - I tried so hard Steve, so hard and you just threw me away. Left me to die alone and broken. Did you even think of me when all of that happened? Or were you just thinking about yourself? - Tony was now standing. His hands on the table that could be seen on the screen. The fire in those eyes reminded him of the heated arguments between them right before it all fell apart and Steve held his ground. He stared right back, determined even more now than ever to fix this between them.

\- Yes, yes I did. I called Vision. I called Pepper. We weren't even out of that damned place when I was making sure someone was coming for you Tony. And it broke me. It broke me because I wanted to stay. To take you in my arms and make sure you were ok. -

\- And why didn't you?! - Tony shouted, the rag that had been forgotten in the table now in his hands, searching for something to anchor him to the now, to stop him from spiraling down.

\- I was scared - Steve said. Somehow he felt relieved to say it out loud - I was scared of how it all will unfold, of how I felt for you. Of all these things you made me feel. I was scared that this was all too much. -

\- Then why are we here now Steve? I'm still me, faults and all. And you are still you - Tony asked, fresh tears running down his face now, the anger subsiding and making way to sadness.

\- Because I've been stupid. Because I'm sorry. Because I want you back Tony. I want everything. I want you. - his hand reached to the hologram and went right through it, nothing but air between his fingers. He clenched his fists in anger, frustrated by the distance. Distance that he had put between them. Distance that Tony hadn't tried to breach either.

Tony saw it, saw the frustration and longing in those blue eyes. The clear blue of the sky, the faint glow of his arc reactor. His hand raised too, instinctively trying to hold the others hand and he too only felt the distance. The emptiness. They stayed silent for a couple of minutes. Looking at each other. Noticing the subtle changes they had had during these months apart and Tony would be lying if he denied that he too missed the supersoldier. But now there was so much between them. The distance, the lies, the secrets and people. There was other people too now. -I don't want it like this. I don't want it to be like this. I loved you Steve. I did. - he finally said. It broke his heart all over again.

\- Loved? - he whimpered, the ugly truth hitting him in the face. - No, no. NO. Tony, we still have time, we can fix this. - He stood up, his hands banging on the desk beneath him, moving so quickly that Tony took a few steps back, the stool falling to the side with a loud bang, his hands up in front of him, the new IronMan gauntlets materializing out of thin air onto them and aiming directly at the screen. Directly to Steve. And he stared, amazed, and shocked in equal measures.

Horrified, Tony put his hands down, the hand repulsors disappearing into his skin - I can't Steve. I can't anymore. - he said, a sad broken thing that Steve was sure he could only hear due to the serum and his enhanced hearing. The mechanic in the screen hugged himself, rubbing his own arms as if seeking heat, comfort.

\- Tony please - he begged, desperate now - I'm coming. I'm going to-

-Please stay in Wakanda - Tony said, and Steve had the feeling he was begging too - The pardons are still pending, I don't want you to compromise them because we - he cut himself and took a deep breath, finally looking up at the screen, at Steve.

\- I don't care about the stupid pardons Tony, I don't care. This was all a mistake. My mistake. -

\- I did stupid stuff too Steve, this are my mistakes too -

\- Then we can fix this -

\- There is someone else - he said, looking straight at him, those chocolate eyes sad - I'm seeing someone-.

Steve stayed silent. Unable to comprehend what Tony was saying so he just stared, waiting for something, anything, that the other was going to say. - He's good, good with me. Good for me.-

\- Tony...- he stared, dumbfounded and speechless.

\- He comes by the lab sometimes, when he is not working or consulting. He brings me coffee just like I like it, one sugar, no milk. Also donuts, he brings me a lot of those. He is a doctor, neurosurgeon. At least he used to be. We... we used to date. Way back, when I was just Tony. No IronMan, no Avengers or aliens. Before all the madness. - _Before you_ , he doesn't say.

\- Stop - Steve whispers, but Tony doesn't seem to notice, because he keeps going.

\- He is part of the New Avengers, I call him Harry Potter, he... he uses magic - he laughs, a mirthless laugh, a sad laugh, and he knows he should shut up, god _he should shut the fuck up_ , but he can't stop, he had started and can't stop. And now he is crying for a whole different reason. Because although he and Stephen are not official, they do have something going on. And Steve is right there, looking at him with his beautiful blue eyes, now red from all the crying. - He takes me on dates, he was there in the bunker, after you left. He was there with Viz, they ehh... they rescued me. He likes my music. - he adds, because he never knows when to shut up.

And those words kill Steve because he did leave Tony. In spirit and heart perhaps not, but in body he did, he walked away and didn't turn around, even though he was dying to. Perhaps he did kill someone that cold winter day. Perhaps it was their relationship. Their love. - Tony stop - he says louder this time. And he finally does.

They stare at each other silently, seconds turning into minutes. They are still crying, they are still thousands of kilometers away. Tony is still hugging himself and it's too much, he turns away, his back to the camera and Steve can see how his body trembles with the silent sobs that escape him. Steve is still clenching his fists. He doesn't know what to do.

Then, past Tony, a golden circle of light appears, growing and growing until a figure walks out of it. He is tall, taller than Tony. He is wearing what seems like a blue tunic, a golden pendant hangs on his chest. A red cape on his shoulders. Behind him appear a couple of coffee cups and a box of donuts floating, Tony's favorites. He starts talking as he gestures the food to a nearby table and it lands on the cold surface -Hey honey, sorry I'm late. The spider kid called me, he wanted my help with some homework and wanted me to give you these donuts, I swear that I feel like the kid is ours when... Tony??- he asks, noticing the other was crying. He hurriedly walked towards him and enveloped him in his arms. -What's wrong?-

Steve watched, jealousy and anger boiling in his stomach as he could only stare. He should be the one holding him. The words not lost to him either as he remembered SpiderMan and how close he seemed with Tony. He wanted to scream.

-I'm ok, Stephen I'm ok-

-Stephen?- the Sorcerer asks, incredulous. It has been a while since Tony called him by his name. -What happened?- uneasiness rolling on his stomach.

Tony shook his head, carefully avoiding looking at Steve in the screen. And he wanted to talk, to let this Stephen-guy know he was there. He was there in Tonys' life and perhaps still in his heart. His words however didn't come, his tongue felt dry as those scarred hands moved up and down on the geniuses arms, a motion meant to be comforting. He wasn't going to just stand aside. He loved Tony. He did with everything he had and he was going to get him back.

-Tony?- he called, loud and sure of himself, he squared his shoulders and looked right at the engineer, ignoring completely the dark eyes of the other man. He felt a kind of sick satisfaction when he finally looked at him, shock in his eyes.

-What... is that Rogers?!- he asked, and suddenly understanding he pulled apart from Tony, holding him at arms length -Are you ok?- he asked again, and Steve felt he was missing something by the way they looked at each other in a silent exchange of words. -Ok, ok. I'll leave. I'll come back later, ok?- he whispered, right above Tonys' lips. He kissed him and turned around, not even looking at Steve and exiting through the portal.

When they were alone again Tony looked up at him but still didn't say anything.

It was ok, he didn't need to say anything. - I love you Tony, and I'm not going to walk away again. I'm not going to let you go. - he promised.

\- Steve - he gasped. He had waited so long to hear those words. To feel that burning blue eyes fixated on him. To feel loved by him. But a tiny voice in his head told him it was too late. Tony was done waiting, he was done wanting. He was done with Steve. He touched his lips, still tingling where Stephen had just kissed him. And where Steve was soft and sweet behind closed doors, hugs in the dark and barely-there kisses on the temple when no one was looking, the sorcerer was fire, he was long conversations over a cup of coffee in the common room at broad daylight. He was loving touches out in the open, hand-holding on galas and fundraisers. And he was tired of hiding. He was tired of being Steves secret. He wanted to be Stephens declaration. A statement loud and clear to the world.

\- No Steve, I'm done. I won't wait anymore. I stopped waiting when you left me there to die. - and Tony realized, just as he spoke the words for the first time, that it was true. - I loved you Steve, and I guess I will do for a long time. But I'm better now. I don't want you as my... I don't love you like that anymore. -

\- Tony -

\- I'm sorry Steve, I guess i didn't love you enough to wait all this time - he said, looking down at his calloused hands. He fumbled with one of his pockets and took at the phone that he had left. - I carried it around for months, I waited for you to call. I was too stubborn to do it myself, too afraid that you wouldn't pick up if I did try to call. - he turned it around in his hand, idly toying with it. - It ran out of battery a while ago and I didn't bother to charge it. I knew by then that you wouldn't call. And I knew I couldn't. -

\- I would have picked up - he said but the words seemed empty, devoid of any meaning. - I didn't know if you would have picked up either - he opened the phone, and looked at the battery. He always kept it charged.

Tony laughed, but it sounded sadder than anything - We are both idiots -

\- Yeah, we are. -

They stayed silent for a couple more minutes. Steve studied the wrinkles around Tonys' eyes, he could have sworn they weren't this pronounced when they last saw each other. Laughter. They were more prominent when Tony was laughing. - I am not giving up -

\- I know -

\- I love you, Tony -

\- Steve, please don't -

\- I do -

Silence again. It was kind of ironic, how back then they couldn't shut up and now they couldn't speak. But he had stayed silent for too long. He had kept his feelings close to his chest, guarded, when he should have kept Tony there, in his heart, in his arms. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops, he wished he could be that guy, be there to kiss him. To finally kiss him. To feel Tony come undone between his fingers, just as he had dreamed for months. He was Tonys and he would make Tony his again. - I'm coming home Tony - he looked right into the chocolate eyes of the man that had given him everything without asking for anything in return. - and I'm fixing this. I'm getting you back. -

-Goodbye Steve - was the only response he got.

When the screen went black he closed his eyes. He was determined now, he had the objective clear in his mind. He would do whatever he had to. It was just a matter of time before he was back at the Compound and he was going to fix this.

He was going to get Tony.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh the irony, I was betaing a beautiful story (when I cant make myself get one) when this plotbunny wouldn't let me move on. I just had to write it and now I can get back to work.
> 
> Maybe I'll write more... if someone asks nicely.
> 
> This is set somewhere after the Rouges stay in Wakanda. Tony is working on his guilt and trauma, he has found a friendly hand in Stephen, who turned out to be an old flame. They are not dating per se, Stephen knows it's too soon for Tony, he knows his past with Steve and respects his wishes for just a very close friendship, but he is slowly breaking his walls and making his way into his heart. Tony knows he and Steve will never work out but he can´t help it, the heart wants what the heart wants.
> 
> My memory on the timeline of the MCU is wonky, it's been a while since I wrote anything for this fandom (as I'm currently working on a Drarry fanfic) but I do love me some Tony-feels and now Steve-feels apparently. So, here. Suffer with me.
> 
> I don't know if this is a Stony turned into IronStrange, or if this ultimately will be just angsty Stony, please interpret it as you will. I don't mind.


End file.
